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Funny Firm show prep highlights for the week of March 13 - March 17, 2023      

Illusionist David Blaine is recovering after suffering an injury during a performance in Las Vegas.  It happened while Blaine was jumping into a pile of boxes from about 80 feet above.   He dislocated his shoulder but is reportedly doing well.    *Doctors say he'll be back up and creepy in no time.  (Paul Dudley)

Actress Lindsay Lohan is pregnant.  She's expecting her first child with husband Bader Shammas.  The "Mean Girls" star announced the news on her Instagram page.   *The kid will be part of a long line of Hollywood offspring born with a silver spoon in their nose.  (Rick Fancy)

Kellogg's has announced the names of the two companies it will become.  WK Kellogg Co. will focus on cereals, while Kellanova will cover snack brands like Pop-Tarts and Cheez-Its. *Can we say Kellogg's thinks marijuana will be legal soon across the country, without saying marijuana will be legal soon across the country?  (Paul Dudley)

The Razzie Awards got into a bit of trouble recently.  For the Worst Actress category, 12-year-old actress Ryan Kiera Armstrong was nominated for her role in “Firestarter.”   Organizers of the Razzies issued a public apology.  Every nominee must now be at least 18 years of age.  *Leonardo Decaprio's rule are even tougher, at least 18, no more than 25.  (Rick Fancy)

Catholics in Philadelphia who wish to properly celebrate Saint Patrick's Day during Lent will be permitted to do so, thanks to the local Archdiocese.  The Archdiocese has granted an exception, asking Catholics to observe another penance if they choose to eat corned beef.  *The archdiocese believes Catholics should be able to experience throwing up corned beef and green beer on St. Pat's just like everyone else.  (Paul Dudley)

A study ranks McAllen Texas as the most overweight/obese city in the United States.  *What do you expect from a city whose name sounds like a menu item at McDonald's?  (Dave Vincent)

The NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament, also known as March Madness began yesterday with a pair of First Four match ups in Dayton, Ohio. *With inflation, the war in Ukraine, and train derailments, it feels like March Madness started a long time ago.  (Paul Dudley)

Two groups of nuns and friars are teaming up to determine the fate of a mostly vacated monastery in Los Angeles.  The Monastery of the Angels in Hollywood Hills is no longer a home for nuns, but its chapel and gift shop remain open, along with the monastery's peanut butter and pumpkin bread business.  The Friars are looking for a new purpose for the monastery.  *Hollywood could always use another Cold Goat Yoga studio. (Paul Dudley) 

On this date in 1972, Carole King, James Taylor, and Carly Simon were among the winners at the Grammy Awards.  *Coincidentally that same year, everyone in the audience at the Grammy awards fell asleep.  (Paul Dudley)

Cars confiscated from drunk drivers in Latvia are helping the war effort in Ukraine.  Latvia has the highest rate in drunk driving in ALL of Europe, and Latvian officials recently seized 200 vehicles from sauced drivers. *A country might want to update their drunk driving rules when they have a higher rate of problem drinkers than Russia AND Ukraine.  (Rick Fancy)

On this date in 2020, Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates stepped down to focus on philanthropy.  *He has been unbelievably  successful at it...he recently donated almost 76 billion dollars to his ex-wife. (Paul Dudley)

Pope Francis says he would consider resigning if he becomes "too tired" to continue as leader of the world's one-point-three billion Roman Catholics.  Monday marked ten years since the start of Francis's papacy.  *So if we see the Pope showing up for work later and later, we'll know he's decided to give quiet quitting a try. (Rick Fancy)

Americans are taking home slightly more money.  The latest jobs report from the federal government says average hourly earnings went up by eight cents in February.  *My hourly pay went up 8 cents...dang, why haven't I been living large for the last few weeks?  (Paul Dudley)

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